Ah, life is such an amazing experience in growth and learning . Right now, I am pondering love and relationships and the many ways we take our own pain out on others, especially the ones closest to us. How we feel about ourselves truly shapes how we interact with the world and how the world interacts with us. Thus my favorite principle that practicing self-love and self-care is actually a way to make the world a more loving place. For example, notice how a mama interacts with her child(ren) when she is joyful and secure. Now, imagine the same situation, but in this scenario the mama is overworked, under-supported, and stretched too thin.
In the spirit of transparency, honesty, and self-love I want to share my journey of self-love and discovery with my readers. In the spirit of grace and love, my intention is to share my experiences with you in a way that is non-blaming, yet authentic. It is not always pretty, but even at its worst it is a beautiful mess that is shaping me and molding me into the woman I am meant to be.
Recently, my marriage has shifted drastically. This is a beautiful and painful thing, but what amazes me is how light and confident I feel and how much energy I have. It seems it has become more painful to continue my relationship than to end it. As I’ve gained a little distance from my situation I’ve realized several things. The following is a little of what I’ve learned:
- I am very clear in my vision of my most blissful life, and I am growing my confidence to pursue and create it.
- I want to grow my ability to not compromise things that are very important to me. My tendency is to compromise more than I should in the pursuit of another person’s happiness. Healing opportunity for me!
- I am a great mom, and I am an even better mom when I am happy about my life.
- I am perfect in my imperfection and growing every day.
- Making challenging life decisions takes courage.
- I have an amazing support system!
- My life is a reflection of aspects of myself that need an opportunity to heal.
I’ve also learned that abuse has many faces, and that some faces of abuse are subtler than others. The type of abuse I’d like to address right now is emotional abuse. Intimidating a wife, husband, girlfriend, or boyfriend is domestic emotional abuse. Demeaning our partners, putting them down, and punishing them for not meeting our expectations is emotional abuse. Let’s be honest with ourselves, emotional abuse and domestic abuse in general are more prevalent than we think. Perhaps we don’t realize how prevalent this issue is because there is a stigma attached to experiencing abuse. Perhaps it is a secretive topic because the partner on the receiving end of the abuse has learned to blame themselves.
I have learned, while traveling along my bumpy path, that being expressive about our experience is a healing thing. It can help us heal and it can be healing to others who share our experience. With that in mind, this blog is my catharsis.
In the spirit of taking responsiblity for my experience I am excited about loving and healing the parts of me that attract me to interacting in abusive situations. It is humbling to acknowledge these aspects of my journey, and even more humbling to express them. In order to acknowledge the areas in which I want to grow in an empowering way, I am expressing them as affirmations. My affirmations are as follows:
“I experience acceptance and love from within. I accept and love myself’.”
“I am loveable, including my imperfections.”
“I have the courage to follow my bliss. In following and living my bliss other aspects of my life will find their place.”
“To compromise or not compromise is my choice”.
I am wishing you an abundance of GROWTH, JOY, & WISDOM & acknowledging your divinity! I am loving the ability in us all to embody compassion and understanding.