Those of you who follow my blog regularly may have noticed my absence over they last couple of weeks. I have just had the most amazing and challenging experience, and I’d love to share with you what my experience has taught me about this amazing life. Isn’t that just the way? At times, it’s the excruciating experiences, the ones that make us question everything, that urge us to grow and evolve. A wisewoman I met along my journey reminded me that, like birth, things that make us grow and evolve often hurt.
I’ve known for some time now that certain important elements in my life were becoming increasingly unhealthy. Although I was following my bliss in some aspects of my life, other aspects had a profoundly negative effect on me. At times, I’d look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder how I’d gotten so far off my path. As a solution, I began to envision what my most amazing life would look like, steadily and slowly I would work toward it each day. I didn’t want to make any rash moves. Looking back, when I reflect on my idea of a gentle change in relation to the abrupt fashion in which my life actually changed, it’s almost comical.
Last month, a huge and unavoidable sign erupted in my life to show me that things had to change immediately, right now, there was no turning back. Overnight I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings. My daughter and I were living with strangers and unsure of what the future would hold. The only thing that sustained me was the clear vision of the life I wanted to create that I clung to and kept ever present in my mind.
As the sting and shock of the hurtful events began to subside, I realized that, through this uncomfortable experience, I had been propelled months ahead in my plan. I was now positioned to create the life I most wanted, months before I planned to. Will I reach out and take it? Will I take the leap? Am I worthy? Can I do it? All of these questions burned in my mind. Wisewomen I serendipitously met in during this challenging period reminded me to see the chaos as my opportunity to rebirth myself, that I was indeed ready to step into the next phase of my life. And so I did.
Now, I find myself launched, albeit quickly and uncomfortably, into a new phase of my life, surrounded by my loving family, and preparing to take another stab at a project I’m really excited about. The winds of change blew swiftly into my life to stir things up, remove anything unsubstantial, and lift me to where I want to be.
Observing the power of chaos inspired me to look further into this magnificent force. It seems spiritual people, philosophers, and great minds have observed the dynamism of chaos for thousands of years. In many spiritual traditions including Chinese Cosmogony and the Orphic Mysteries, choas is synonymous with the boundless, dark unknown from which all life comes from. When seen from this perspective the chaos that sweeps into our individual lives and brings with it change and uncertainty can be viewed as an opportunity for renewal and evolution.
I share this experience with you, dear reader, to inspire you in times of challenge and chaos. To remind you that a hard time is indeed an opportunity to grow and advance. Even if it seems you’ve hit rock bottom, keep your eye on who you want to be. You are worthy, you can do it, it’s your time.
Image by Boroda003