The Layers of My Heart’s Desire
“What do I really want?” This is a question I ask myself regularly. I am of the belief that we can each create the life of our dreams if we are only clear about what we truly want.
Creating a life that fits me like a glove has not always been easy. At times I ask myself, “Why can’t I just be ‘normal’? Why can’t I travel the road that so many others seem to be content with?” I have made mistakes…big mistakes, I have been hurt, I have hurt others; all the while I have learned and peeled the layers of doubt, fear, clutter, and expectation that shroud my heart’s truest desire.
I’ve learned that what I think I want is not always what I want. However, expressing what I think I want helps me take a step closer to my authentic heart’s desire. Having people around me that I can process my feelings and thoughts with also helps me step closer to the core of my desire. This process has been akin to unwrapping layers and layers of newspaper that contain a small golden nugget.
When the concept of our city homestead began to come into focus, I was unable to clearly and confidently put it into words. My surface fears were that my idea was too far-fetched and I would be unable to pull off such a project. Thankfully, I was in an environment that nurtured communication and self-discovery, and I was encouraged to explore my concept and talk about it. As I talked about my idea, my vision became clearer, and my confidence in my ability grew. Looking back, I wonder how I ever doubted myself.
Most recently, I have explored what I want in a partnership with a mate. I’ve explored the gifts I have to give and the kind of life and family I want to create. Again, I’m thankful to have people in my life who encourage me to unravel my feelings and desires and who help me process my thoughts.
Through this process of exploration and discovery, I’ve found that I must invent a new way to describe what qualities in a relationship bring out the best in me. I must go deeper than the traditional words used to describe relationships and our roles within them, because, like me, my desires are unique and outside of the box. I’ve also discovered that my truest desires can be boiled down to just a few potent words.
Here are four things that I’ve found helpful as I explore myself and the life of my dreams:
- Confidence: Know that you deserve to have/create what you truly want in life.
- Meditate and Visualize: Sit with yourself often to commune with your highest self and visualize the life of your dreams.
- Healthy Emotional Support System: Identify the people around you who can listen to you, support you when you need to communicate, and ask questions that will inspire you to go deeper into your thoughts.
- Space to Babble: As a concept comes into focus, your communication about it may not always be clear. Don’t give up. Give yourself the space to talk or write about it until it becomes clear.
What is it that you really want in life? What does the golden nugget in the core of your heart contain?
tag: my hearts desire
image by Nkzs